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Day 79 NMT: Tears

Man, I broke down today.

The day started out okay, considering my skin. This second round flare went to another level overnight and really covered my whole torso. I slept badly, and scratched a lot of the areas that were looking good the day before. So it was back to square one. I told myself, this is all part of it, nothing new, just go back to NMT and smash it. So I did, I went and got some veges and started juicing, then after a little pep talk I geared up for a run.

During my run, my whole body was on fire, it has never been that sore before. My chest down to my waist just felt like it had hot coals all over it. I powered through it. “How strong are you? TOO STRONG!”

And as usual, the pain went away after a while. I managed to run 10km, and I felt so proud. Even I didn’t think I’d clock that much in my condition.

So I went home, started drinking some juice and started talking to myself about my run, and then it happened man. I just broke. I wailed in the kitchen, luckily nobody was home, and I just screamed about how I can’t do this anymore, it’s too hard, I don’t want to do this anymore, I want to give up. I’ve never cried that hard since I can remember. But it was quick. After a minute or two, I stood back up, and I told myself, I’m still here. I’m still not broken. And tomorrow will be another day.

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